Let’s cut through the Wall Street jargon and Instagram-finance nonsense. Money isn’t complicated – we’re just constantly being tricked into thinking it is. Here’s the unfiltered reality about personal finance that no one with a vested interest will tell you.
- YOUR BANK IS SCAMMING YOU (LEGALLY)
That “free” checking account? About as free as a $15 airport water bottle.
• They pay you 0.01% interest while charging others 20%+ for your same money
• Overdraft fees exist solely to punish poor people for being poor
• That “relationship banker” wants to sell you garbage loans, not be your friend
- THE STOCK MARKET IS RIGGED (BUT YOU CAN STILL WIN)
Wall Street’s dirty little secrets:
• Day trading is financial self-harm – the house always wins
• 90% of fund managers underperform the market (but still collect fat fees)
• The only three investments that matter:
- Index funds (set it and forget it)
- Real estate (they’re not making more land)
- Yourself (the ultimate ROI)
- CREDIT SCORES: AMERICA’S WEIRDEST GAME SHOW
Your financial reputation is determined by:
• Paying bills on time (basic adulting)
• Not using available credit (makes zero sense)
• Having exactly 3 credit cards (but not 4!)
• A secret algorithm that changes daily
- CRYPTO IS DEAD (LONG LIVE THE NEXT SCAM)
The greatest financial illusion since tulip bulbs:
• Bitcoin became what it swore to destroy
• NFTs are now worth less than a McDonald’s coffee
• The only people still pushing crypto are:
- Those who got in early
- Those selling courses about crypto
- Delusional tech bros
- RETIREMENT IS A LIE (BUT SAVE ANYWAY)
The brutal math:
• You need 1M+toretirecomfortably•Theaverage50−year−oldhas60k saved
• Social Security will be gone by 2075
• Your options:
- Save aggressively now
- Plan to work until death
- Marry rich
- THE ONLY BUDGET THAT MATTERS
Forget fancy spreadsheets. Just follow:
• 50% needs (rent, food, etc.)
• 30% wants (avocado toast included)
• 20% savings (pretend this money doesn’t exist)
- FINANCIAL “ADVICE” TO IGNORE
Red flags:
• Anyone selling a course
• “Guaranteed” returns
• Get-rich-quick schemes
• Your broke uncle’s stock tips
- HOW TO ACTUALLY GET RICH
The boring truth:
• Live below your means
• Invest consistently
• Avoid stupid debt
• Increase your income
• Wait 20+ years
The Bottom Line:
Money is simple – earn more than you spend, invest the difference, repeat. All the rest is just noise designed to confuse you into making bad decisions that profit someone else. Now go cancel that subscription you never use.